I still am pretty active. Running/walking, doing my workouts. Still fitting in my jeans *Even though I would much rather wear sweats or Yoga Pants*, but all in all...I AM NOT OLD! Right??
For some Silly reason...I have been a bit 'Old' like. You know...Getting up late, walking slower, Telling the kids to turn down the music, Wanting to take a nap ALL DAY LONG.
For a split second the other day, I thought...Maybe its because we are going through a transition...Our kids are starting to leave home. Maybe I got so worked up about Sass Graduating and leaving home and starting her own life without us there to help her, and watch over her that I got a little depressed...
No! That couldn't be it *Depressing/exciting*.
It must be because I am so very tired because of the endless sleepless nights I have had for months now *and I don't have a newborn to blame either...Blah!*
...Nope! I haven't slept in years, why would the last few months bother me.
I figured and put 2 and 2 together, and thought...I need to start taking vitamins...YIKES!! That's what old people say and do...They start taking all these vitamins n such...
WoW! I am not sure what has given me this 'Old Lady' bug.
I have wrinkles...I have a few gray hairs...I have a child getting ready to turn 18...I am not up late at night nursing a baby, and for the most part-I am no longer changing diapers. In 2 years all the kids will be in school. WTH...I was just 19 and getting married!
We Really Are In a New and Different Phase Of Life! Getting a bit older...Middle Aged.
The other day, I took the kids running. *Every Summer, I get the kids and make them run **You can call me mean...But it does nothing but help my kids be stronger in sports and helps them to learn to do Hard things!*
Anyway...We were running around our neighborhood. It isn't an easy run, because it is uphill most of the way-either way you go, there is a Hill to run at the end*2X's around is a mile-We go as hard as we can*.
As we were going, I couldn't believe how much Bobcat has improved since last year*he is 9*. He was kicking my fanny-When you get to that point when your kids are beating you...A little voice inside your head says 'Your kids are getting older and stronger...and you are getting Older and Weaker/slower :O)'. Justin beat me in the 400 when he was 10-The 100 yard dash...I can barely keep up with the kids. And Jessi...She kicks my fanny in any long distant runs-She is 11. I knew the day would come, but to be honest...I NEVER thought the day would 'Really' come!
So as I sit here, thinking about how to put into words my emotions and feelings...It is near impossible. There are parents all over the world who have been there and done that. There are the parents that are going through it with me right now. I have heard that some people really get depressed when they get into there late 30's close to 40...Not handling the aging process.
That can't be me.
Ok! Maybe it can be.
I have had lots of thoughts of going back to school, moving to a different state, Growing my hair out/Shaving it off, getting fake nails again, and yes...I have even thought about having Botox done*I will never do that...But the thought has crossed my mind!*.
I have thought about lifting weights-but that thought never last long...I like the softer tone look-I will just keep doing what I am doing praying to some day be toned. I have thought about doing a marathon...Maybe that would 'Complete' me*nah!*.
I have thought about going away for a week-but I would miss the kids and the Adorable One the second I left, so that wouldn't do me any good.
I have thought about a zillion different things lately...Mind is racing...Always thinking of ways to make me look and feel younger. Wanting to improve and change.
I don't like the wrinkles, and the shrinking. I don't like the being tired quicker and more often. I don't like watching my parents grow older. I do not like the aches and pains. I do not like this getting older stuff.
BUT...
I like that I can still run *not like I used to, but I still can put forth the effort*. I like the same music as my kids *For the most part*. I still like to be active. I enjoy not being carded for buying spray paint. I like cute clothes, and can fit into most of the styles*not saying that I can pull the cute styles off-but that I can fit into them*.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE watching my children grow up-NO words can express how amazing this is. I like that I can communicate with the kids and they now understand most of the things I am talking about. I love that the Adorable One and I are still together and that he still finds me attractive-and even says I am better looking now than what I was in High School-He says 'I am a woman' and I should be very proud of the wrinkles*lots of kids-lots of worry-lots of stress=Wrinkles*.
There is so much to smile about. I just have to learn to Roll with the punches*how many times have you heard me say that*.
I am just in a little rut*again*, and know that I will claw my way out *again* and enjoy this time of my life. I have a ton of stuff to do, so I can't start getting all wimpy and stuff.
The key is to just keep moving even when my legs and hips are saying...Please don't do that!!
The kids may laugh at me when I am working out...But really I think they are pretty proud of their mother...
I need to soak in my children's youth-And feed off of their energy*THEY HAVE SO MUCH OF IT!!*
I have been told that the 40's are easier, and that I will enjoy that time in my life more...I am wondering if they may be right...
No more whining...EVERYONE gets OLD!! There is no getting out of it-Just learning how to age with a positive attitude!
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