Mosiac

Challenges...We are constantly being challenged. Our character is challenged. Our integrity is challenged. Our ability to do great things is always being challenged. Our self worth and our confidence. We are being challenged, every day...Some times without even recognizing and knowing it.

I have blogged several posts about our tough times-Especially the last couple of years. I really am not lying when I say it is, 'One thing after another!'.  I'm not whining...I'm reaching out...I don't know if I ever truly understood how many people struggle every day...I do now.

Take a peek at your life for just a quick second. Imagine all that your used to...

Your house

Your family

Your job

Your income

Your surroundings

Your friends

Your religion

Your faith

Your health

Even the food that you eat...

Getting your hair cut...

Imagine all of that changing. ALL AT ONCE. 

There was a homeless man, or says his sign anyway, that was older and he looked as though he had been drug through a few rough times. 

As I was coming into the Walmart parking lot, I noticed him and I could swear that I felt a small amount of his pain just by looking into his eyes...This man was different from so many other homeless people I see-Benson seems to have several different one's showing up here and there-Nearly everywhere.

Anywho...

I parked where I always do *I have a small tendency to forget where I parked the car, so I park in the same spot, about a mile away from the store, every time*

I walked into Walmart and shopped for Elder Pacheco's care package-Scraping up what money I had, to do that-I Checked out, and had just a little bit of cash left. A $10 bill and a few $1's. 

As I was walking to my car, I had looked up and that guy was still standing there with his sign...I thought to myself as I approached my car, 'It sure is hot! What in the world would ever make that guy want to stand out in the heat like that!'.

As I was coming around out of the Walmart parking area, my heart just started to race as I glanced, once again, at the homeless man standing out in the heat. 

I thought to myself that I would just give the guy my 1's and call it good...I don't have much money to spare myself, but felt I needed to give this man just a little bit. 

*I'm not gonna lie...The thought of standing on a corner with all the kids holding a sign has crossed my mind...I guess in a sense, I make a joke of it during our financial woes! Invision-1 woman, with 9 kids-I would have Champion hold the sign...Not funny-But a little funny* 

Anyway...Something hit me. I looked at the guy once again-and without thinking, I reached for my 10 dollar bill instead. I rolled down my window and stretched the bill out to the man, and he looked at me with his eyes, and said, 'Thank you!'. 

My heart calmed down, and I caught myself smiling...

Now, you never know...

I don't know what the man was going to do with that $10. Growing up, I was always told that those types of people just go and buy booze or cigarettes with any money that is given to them. That could possibly be true...But what if it wasn't that way for all of those who stand out on the corner. I know what I was going to do with that $10...It was going to sit in my car for gas-There are times when $10 will get us by. I know how much I needed that $10.

So, When you see a homeless person...

You think to yourself, they have two arms. They have two legs...'GET A JOB!'. We, or I assume these types of people are just lazy. They make more money by standing on the corner holding a sign. Anyone could stop taking a shower and hold up a sign...I am sure that there is much joy in doing this. *Not*

So the thing about it is, I don't know what has happen to that man. I don't know what has gotten him to the point of swallowing all of his pride to stand on that corner at Walmart, dealing with all the looks and stares...along with those that feel so uncomfortable with the whole situation, that they don't look at all *That would be me some times*...Just drive by and pretend I didn't see anyone. 

There are so many things that I can and will assume...Thats all I can do, unless I were to stop and talk with this man. Until I take the time to talk with him and ask him questions about how he got to this point in his life, I will never know...
I have seen him since, and I do have the desire to stop and have a short chat with him, but I just haven't taken the time. *Shame on me!*

The silly thing is, it doesn't matter if someone is standing on the corner or not-we will never fully understand someone's else's situation or life, if we don't take the time to ask. We quickly place judgment and turn the other cheek. It is hard to understand things that we have not experienced ourselves. So even if we take the time to ask, we still struggle with decisions and choices other might make.

If you have not ever had to experience tough times, it isn't easy to understand some situations. Or if you have experienced hard times, and have since turned your life around and things are going good...You tend to forget how difficult it really was for you, and you lack the compassion for others who struggle-Or maybe you don't forget-but greed has set in, and you are blinded.

As I had wondered why the homeless man would stand in such horrible heat, it is clearly apparent...He is in need. The choices we make when we are in need don't always make sense to others, but in our own minds...It seems to make sense.

Even though I some times wish that I could rewind the last couple of years and have a do over... I quickly look at our situation now, and know that we have been through our own kind of battles for a reason. Reason's that I don't quite understand just yet...But I know, one day I will.

Everything listed above, changed for our family...All at once. Going from making ends meet, to just trying to stay afloat has been heart breaking to humbling. 

Over the last month or so, the Adorable One and I have had to take all of our extra time trying to make our house a place that we could live in. My children have been neglected, in a sense *Not really, but our attention has had to be on getting a place ready for the family to live*. They understand...The kids are patient. They know that their dad and I have had to sacrifice a few things to get things going. Michael has had to work, along with trying to get our family moved...It has been such a challenge. We both are exhausted. 

I am not one to ask for help, but have felt fortunate enough that others have seen that we have needed help. If you know me, you know I would rather do it myself before asking for help...I have always been capable of figuring it all out and just doing it...

Well, I have needed help. I have needed meals to be brought into the home for the kids, because I haven't had a stove. I have needed people to help get my kids to and from practices and games because I have not been able to leave the house much and also, we simply can't afford much of anything extra right now.

I have needed people to help load stuff up to take from one house to the other...I guess you could say, We have been a bit needy lately!

I have had people just take a minute to breathe with me and give me a quick minute of reassurance that things are going to be ok. Most people haven't even questioned and have just done things to help...Knowing that we are doing the best that we can. Michael and I both appreciate all of the help. We have had to swallow pride, and in our own way, hold up a sign...

For me, this experience has changed the way I will look at others. Times are tough. Times are overwhelming. Everyone is going through something... 

Its funny how that works as well...

Maybe you don't struggle financially, but you struggle in your marriage.

Maybe you don't struggle in your marriage, but you struggle with your children.

Maybe you have a hard time feeling your self worth. Maybe you don't understand that there really is a God out there, because you can't feel things in a certain way-so You struggle with your faith. 

Everyone struggles. Our job is to not assume and judge. We are to do our best to help where we can when we can. We are given ways to serve every day...Even with a simple smile, you can help someone.

Challenges are just that Challenges. Some last longer than others...

For our family, we have had several different challenges...As we are trying to find our way, and build a new life for our family.
We will continue to have challenges. We will figure things out, and I can tell you this...We are not going to quit and stop working at it.  We are going to come out stronger in the end...

I adore my husband. That man has been put through the ringer-and still puts his hat on each day. Michael has the ability to do great things...he only has one desire...and that is to keep his family close and strong. I am so thankful for his every day efforts!

"If God chooses to teach us the things we most need to learn because he loves us, and if he seeks to tame our souls and gentle us in the way we most need to be tamed and most need to be gentled, it follows that he will customize the challenges he gives us and individualize them so that we will be prepared for life in a better world by his refusal to take us out of this world, even though we are not of it. In the eternal ecology of things we must pray, therefore, not that things be taken from us, but that God's will, be accomplished through us. What, therefore, may seem now to be mere unconnected pieces of tile will someday, when we look back, take form and pattern, and we will realize that God was making a mosaic. For there is in each of our lives this kind of divine design, this pattern, this purpose that is in the process of becoming, which is continually before the Lord but which for us, looking forward, is sometimes perplexing." Neal A Maxwell

Mosaic-

Art consisting of a design made of small pieces of colored stone or glass.

I am so very proud of my family. I am proud of my husband that continues to fight his way through his trials. I am proud of each and everyone of my children...They are the most perfect imperfect people...And I am so proud of their desires and constant laughter. I am also so thankful that they are down to earth, and tend to want to be around those that are different. I couldn't be more grateful for our Savior-Whose challenges were far greater than my own-His perfect example of kindness and forgiveness.

Every day we are given choices...We won't always make the right choices. But we can continue to do our best...working to be better than we were the day before. 

Don't judge others, and don't assume you understand the choices that some may make. Reflect on yourself, and ask why after doing so-I am quite sure you will have a greater understanding. 

Something to always remember...The people we come in contact with on a daily basis, are usually for a purpose. We may not know the purpose right away, but some day we will. I know that each and every individual we have met and have worked with in our life, especially since we have moved out of Bagdad, has been for a reason. Lesson's have been taught and learned. There are those that have comforted us without even knowing they have done so. I am thankful for all of the people that have come in and out of our lives...Especially the homeless man that has made me think and focus on things that I may need to change in my own life.

Growth is a slow process...But such an amazing experience.

Happy Thursday...

*By the way...I got the email confirming that our missionary is in Nebraska safe and sound. They will be mailing us a picture of our amazing son...I can't wait to receive it!

Smiling :O)