There are so many things that have changed in a matter of 3 months, that there is no way of putting it all into words (I have said this before...That just goes to show how life is constantly changing).
I would love to say and share that our lives have been absolutely amazing and things couldn't be better. Not that things are icky and miserable, but man o' man...We have had our share of Mountain climbing and I am scared to death of heights.
When times get tough, remain tough, and seem to only get worse...You really start to do some soul searching-Who am I? What do I believe? How can I improve? God, are you there?
Let's see...raising kids in a small sail boat during a typhoon with only one life jacket, depression, health, discouragement, shame, torment, anger...Lack of trust, faith and hope.
Wait-what? Lack of trust, faith and hope! No wonder everything has been so tough. There is no getting through this life lacking those 3 things.
I have told myself for the last month, that murmuring is the most damaging expression and action for one self, and also for those around us. To speak of discontent about someone or something...COMPLAINING! It is not good-and all positives will for sure be lost if Murmuing is continued.
I will no longer look for the good in my life, if I continue to murmur...Negative thoughts and feelings are so strong and become such a habit, that most will start to only look and see the bad stuff in their life and within their own souls...How miserable!
I want to stop murmuring...
Talk about a tough task! You try going one day without murmuring, especially if your going through some tough stuff-Struggling to find happiness-It is very hard.
Also, when you have others around you that continue to seek out the negatives and allow the positives to be overshadowed by complaints and whining-It is very easy to become discouraged. Lost in the 'Bubble' of constant unhappiness.
I find myself wanting to vent. I want to get things out of my system-Holding back anger and frustration is difficult enough...and then to not speak about all that is filling my piggy bank of complaints-That is, some what overwhelming...It is healthy to let some things out, but to completely break the bank-is Damaging. Some things are just better left unsaid...Unless you have held back for so long that it has caused damage to your spirit-Let it go and allow others the chance to understand why you feel the way you do.
Doom and Gloom-Some can't live without spreading it like a wild fire. Maybe not everyone will get burned, but the smoke will be consumed by all those around you-Be considerate...Some don't need that constant reminder that life is a bit smelly.
It comes down to this, Do I CHOOSE to be happy today or do I CHOOSE to murmur and allow my struggles to completely take over my life? Think about it. We are given free agency. We can choose to live however we want! We've been told that this life isn't going to be easy-But it will be worth it in the end.
Everything we do. How we live. How we cope. What we say...Is a choice.
I would love to give amazing details about our life-Our struggles *And trust me...I want to, so others can know and understand that I know it is possible to do hard things...I would love to be there for others*
One day I will be able to write openly about our seriously crazy life, but...Right now just isn't the right time.
I will share this...With a lot of prayers and persistent positive thinking, I can get the answers to my questions...Who am I? What do I believe? How can I improve? And God, are you there?
I am a daughter of God. I am a wife and mother...I am a Christian. I am a firm believer in Christ and the atonement. I believe in forgiveness and serving others-Revelations 20:12, James 2:14-26...I will be judged by my works not just my faith. I believe in finding joy in the simple things-MONEY will destroy all those who allow it to-I am not going to allow it destroy me. I can improve daily through prayer and faith...by looking at the bright side. Starting each day with a pure love for Christ and others, and striving to be as Christ was! *Not murmuring. Not judging. Having compassion. Being Kind...Ect.*
Is God there? You betcha. Through it all, I have never ever lost the sight of God! At times, the sight may have become blurry and dim...But, I can not tell you how continual prayer has strengthened my faith. Our Heavenly Father has never left my side. I know that I have to do my part. I can 'Let go and Let God' with the complete understanding that God wants me to help myself and work...He will never allow me to fall if I am doing what he has asked me to do-I will do my best. God knows what our family needs, and we have had several tender mercies to prove this. We are so very blessed!
I love having a missionary out, but I will completely be honest with you-I miss Justin like crazy. No! I don't want him to come home-But his presence in our home is missed by all of us. He is a very strong force-I find myself getting emotional and teary eyed when I think of J-But am so overwhelmed with pride and joy when I think about him being a leader and standing firm in his beliefs...What a great example he is. He is doing as God has asked...Spreading the Gospel. *And it does not make me a bad 'Missionary Mom' because I miss my son as much as I do!*
I love where we live. I've said it a million times...I do not want a fancy home or life...I want to keep it simple, and feel grateful for what I have! I don't need much.
I love my children. I love my husband who does his best every day to be the man he should be. I appreciate everyone who has helped our family out-No thank you cards could ever express our gratitude...The crazy thing is, not one person has expected anything in return. As I spoke with a few people who have helped us out...All they want from us, and for our family is happiness. Such a humbling experience to witness the true joy of service-Giving and recieving. I can not wait to pay it all forward!
I no longer lack 'Trust, Faith and Hope'.
One thing that I have changed is, I am constantly looking for amazing quotes and things to share on Facebook, that are about God and Faith and Hope and trust. I am quite sure most will be annoyed by this, but it sure keeps me focused on the things I want to remember, feel, and share with others while I am on Facebook-that can be overflowing with negative quotes and thoughts on my newsfeed. And doesn't everyone need God in their lives? We are to be proud and shout from the mountain tops...
When it comes to religion, we all have our differences...That will always be that way. Don't be closed off to amazing uplifting quotes, talks, videos or even activities just because it doesn't come from your church. There are so many good Christian movies out there with such a strong powerful and uplifting messages. Why would anyone want to be limited to all the positives and good things that we all can share with one another. I look for good and right and truthful things that will help me get through life on a daily basis. Be open minded and for goodness sakes-Soften your heart! Christ wasn't bitter-
I believe we all have the same Father in Heaven and we all have the same Savior and brother, Jesus Christ. I will not judge you, so please do not judge me. Let's lift one another up.
I have a testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I have never been so sure of something in all of my life! Without my faith, I don't know if I could handle some of things that have been thrown my way.
With that being said, remember that I am HUMAN trying hard to carry on and move forward like everyone else. I will probably never reach perfection in this life time, nor am I going to put that much pressure on myself...Just going to continue trying and putting forth effort.
Every day is a new day... Don't start the day with murmuring. Open your eyes, and give thanks that you have eyes! There really are no excuses...Just choices. Work on making the positive choices...Even if it means doing hard things that seem even harder than the 'Hard things'.
*Did that even make sense :O) *
It is a beautiful morning-If you need to cry a little bit today, get in that shower-cry until you have felt relief, and then get out, get your chin up, and MOVE FORWARD! No murmuring today!
*Let it go*
Smiling :O)
No comments:
Post a Comment