I let things go a little bit easier. I don't sweat the small stuff as much as I used to. I am not so focused on my children having perfect behavior...Now, do not get me wrong, I still expect respect. I have just become a litte laxed in allowing my children, to act a tad more like children *If you know my children, and myself, you see how our kids behave, not perfect, but pretty dang good*.
I don't get so angry at home, or least I have noticed that I try very hard to listen and see what the situation is before going crazy and getting upset...Again, do not get me wrong, I still have my
'Physcho Mom' moments, I am sure the neighbors could testify to this.
My husbands says that I have a tendency to stick up for the kids, when really, I am just trying to calm the situation down. I guess I feel that I want to be the calm 'Referee', grounded, while everyone else is flying off of the ledge. Do we have to make everything so frustrating?
I have had it with all the tention, and frustration. There is no such thing as a story book family. I do not want our kids to grow up, get married, and see that times are not always pretty. I say let them see it now, allow them to have an understanding that marriage and parenting is HARD!! But...I also want them to see a calm way to deal with the rough situations. I not want them to be shocked by the cruel truth that life is darn hard!!
I have made it a personal goal to work on raising my voice. I kneel in prayer, asking help with this daily
*Along with several other things*. If you have ever yelled at your kid, and watch their facial expressions while you are in that heated moment, you just might realize that the wrong message is being processed in their minds.
We have a large family, LOTS OF NOISE! I yell, just to make sure that they hear me. The calmer I am, the calmer the kids are. It is a work in progress. But I want a different atmosphere here at home.
This is OUR only safe haven! The ONLY place we all can go to get away from the world. It isn't easy, to keep it that way. But, it is for sure doable!
Facebook, Twitter, and other social media has become so unsafe and out of control. I find myself reading others posts, and becoming a little bit angry.
I do not understand the bashing and all the negativity. I also have a hard time figuring out, who is real and who isn't. I have had to work hard on just ignoring the stuff that bothers me.
* I have to share, that our oldest son Justin has removed all of his FB and Twitters accounts off of his phone...He got sick of it all, and says he wants to focus on the things he needs to accomplish-I am proud of him, and have had it on my own mind, to just get off of the networks myself*.
I don't know why I stick to FB. Maybe it is because I do not get much of an outlet. I hang out with a 5 year old and soon to be 4 year old...But at the same time, I see that most of the adults behave like children as well-YIKES.
I scroll past the negative, searching out the positive *I try to*
I think doing this has even helped my patience level.
I post religion type stuff, motivational quotes with pictures, I try to stay focused.
One thing I have to remember, my children see EVERYTHING that I do. They are on FB, they see my comments and posts. They are on Twitter, and they see what I comment and post. They see my Blog, and read it. They see me ALL the time.
I AM A HUGE EXAMPLE...
Whether it be a good example, or a bad example...I am THE biggest example in their lives How I handle life, and all the CRAP that goes on around me, they watch me to see how I am handling it *Dad too, but he isn't around the kids as much as Mom's are (Unless they are the stay at homer Dad).
Justin asked me the other day if I was happy... BAMM! It was as if he took a rock and knocked me on the side of my head.
If he had to ask, I must not be showing it.
Dang it! If us Mothers could just grasp how important it is to show our happiness.
My mother rarely complained. She went through aches and pains. She went through finacial wo's and she was left at home often to deal with it all because my dad was off coaching *That was not meant in a horrible way-But he was never home*. My mother did not ever complain about not getting a break. Nor did she ever go on nights out with friends. She was the most devoted mother *I want to be that mother*
**I am not dogging the mothers that have friend nights..I just don't agree with them. Not Judging.**
It amazes me how motherhood has changed. The complaining has got to stop. The kids hear it, see it, feel it. It effects them so much...
I want to change and be better. I want my children to feel loved and comfortable around me. I don't want them to have to ask 'Mom! Are you Happy?'. I do not want them to question that I LOVE being their mother and that I love being the Adorable One's wife.
I have plenty of bad days. It is up to me how I present myself on those bad days. I can plaster them all on FB, in a blog, and on the walls of our home. I can sit and complain 'O poor me!'. Or, I can get my mind set on what is most important. When I do this, the pain doesn't go away, but it is less.
*and I am not just talking about physical pain, but also the mental pain that comes with being human-Being a WIFE-Being a Mother*.
I have had 3 wake up calls over the past month and a half. 3 mothers have lost their life. 3 families have gone through such saddness and grief...My thoughts have been so rushed and crazy. Life is to short...
It amazes me how much we all take for granted.
The time we get to spend with the family is so precious. We do not know what tomorrow will bring. It is said over and over and over...Time goes by so fast!! How do we really wish to spend our time?
I don't want to be remembered as the mean O' MoM! *of course unless it is when I am ripping the kids for misbehaving, or for having a bad attitude...Or when I am not allowing them to go places that I feel is unsafe (You all know what I mean)*
My choices effect my FAMILY! Every decision that I make, effects those around me. Those that are closest to me.
I chose to have children. This is the life that I chose to live. I am a Wife, and a Mother-I better have a good attitude!
NOW HOW TO DO IT WITH EASE....
There is no doing the wifey and motherly life, with ease. It takes an every day effort. Some days will be amazingly easy, and other days will be horrifyingly difficult! Pull your own hair out difficult...
But it is how we deal with it that makes it harder or just a little bit easier. I have to have a good attitude, and I can tell you this...Complaining to others, does ZERO good. Maybe I feel a little bit of 'Phew! That was nice to get off of my chest!', but it only gives others a vision of my life. Most of the time, it isn't the best vision. We have a husband or wife for a reason...Don't dog one another to friends...It will get you no where.
So back to my patience level...
Champion is a pooping King. He still has his accidents, but man O' man he is has gotten so much better running to the toilet-This helps!!
*Not that I like to share my toilet training issues-But it effected my attitude so much...I have never struggled with potty training until Champ-I did not handle it well! I am getting to old to potty train!!*
The kids help keep me grounded. Justin will take on Champ, or any of the other kids if he can tell that I am at my wits end. Nicci and Jessi have been great helpers around the house during this very crazy time of year...We are talking a Softball/Baseball game or two or three or FIVE a day, every day of the week. I need all the hands on help I can get around the house.
ALSO...
If I remember that the outside world is just that, I do so much better. Leave it there...I don't care how others are living their lives. I need to FOCUS on how I am living mine!
I want peace! I need peace! And it all starts with me...PERIOD! I have way to much to risk to be angry all the time. I want to relax, when there is only five minutes to relax.
NO MORE FRETTING!
I LOVE MY FAMILY!
One day at a time, remembering to Pray and remembering that I have a Heavenly Father who loves me very much, who knows and understands my needs and desires! He hears my prayers.
We have 5 days off from school for the Easter weekend! I am so STOKED!! My patience will be tested, but as of right now, I feel calm and amazingly grateful for our Pacheco Family Chaos!
**Lets remember- It is because of Him!
I am so thankful for our Savior Jesus Christ. It is because of him, I can be forgiven...and if I live accordingly, I will live again with him and all of my family.
God Bless everyone at this time...Especially those who have lost a loved one. May The Lord wrap his arms around you and comfort you.
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