I recieved a phone call this morning from the School.
Champion was tested last Friday for Preschool. I am not going to lie. I have been so worried about his developmental growth...He is a small mess, and I have worried about him having learning issues along with social issues since the moment he was born at 33 weeks gestation-Guess I thought because he was born early he was destined to struggle.
Well...when I answered the phone, the lady told me that everyone who tested him agreed-He is perfectly normal and doesn't need to go to Preschool! Or, he doesn't need to go for learning or social reasons...
At first, I sorta questioned and asked...Are you sure?? *Not out loud of course, but I did think it!*
After I hung up, I smiled! What a relief...
The lady on the phone, sounded as if she was worried that I was going to be disappointed with their decision-Heck no
Champion is the SPOILED ROTTEN Baby of the family.... He is intellegent and I just ADORE the little stinker.
I was dragging my feet-Didn't really want to send him to school just yet...But BOY! Am I glad I took him in on Friday. I needed that feedback 'Champion is NORMAL!'
Champ doesn't need to be in Preschool to succeed in Kindergarden...I realize that they, the educational system, need our children to know a lot more than what they used to when Sass started school, but I think he is going to be just fine. I am not going to Rush that little boy out the door-Champ will be all grown up soon enough, and I am sure he will learn and know how to read and write.
It has been bothering me...
Something that has been driving me absolutely crazy lately, is the thought that maybe-just maybe, I have not made my children feel like they are 'GOOD ENOUGH!'.
Not smart enough. Not athletic enough. Not perfect enough. NOT ENOUGH!
There are several ways that I could make my children feel as though they aren't good enough...
They...
Don't brush their hair good enough. Don't dress good enough. Aren't spiritual enough....Run hard enough. Clean their rooms good enough...The list goes on...And you know what- it is easy to do, WITHOUT EVEN REALIZING THAT I AM DOING IT!
It is hard enough to be a parent, to have to sit and analize everything that is said, as to not make your child feel insecure, or inavlid in any way.
But, it is sure important to recognize when you are being to critical of your child. Not showing them that you believe in them and that you feel that they really are 'Good enough!'...Especially, when they have struggled and maybe have failed at something.
How many times have you sat and watched another child accomplish something that your child is struggling with, or was not able to accomplish...
In school, at church, in sports, and at home, if you have several children.
Were you discouraged or disapointed? Or when asked, maybe a little bit embarressed to say...
'No! Not yet!' Or 'No! she/he didn't do that!' 'No! She didn't get that Young Womanhood award' or 'No! He isn't an Eagel Scout!'.... Well...
DO NOT COMPARE YOUR CHILDREN TO SOMEONE ELSE'S!! PERIOD!!
Comparing your children to someone else's is damaging.
**One thing for sure, you can not take it personal when someone is talking to you about their childs accomplishments...Be happy for them! (It isn't always easy)...**
Thinking back to how I was raised...
All of my life, for some reason, our weight and appreance was top discussion. Your to skinny. You need to lose some weight. Your looking sick. Your 'Healthy' looking, just keep working at it.
Our hair, our make up...Everything about our appearance was being critiqued.
I don't know why it was so important to be a certain way...But as I have become a mother, I have realized how much it all effected me-Still effects me-and how I am now effecting my children in similar ways.
I didn't feel 'Good Enough!', still don't and now, I am handing down that horrible feeling to my own children.
**My parents are awesome, and I just love them to pieces...I am grateful for my Roots! Do not get me wrong and read into this the wrong way!**
How I feel...
I am 'Good Enough!' I am blessed in so many ways physically, spiritually, and mentally. I want my children to see a strong confident woman, and remember me as such!
What I know...
My children are different. They are full of energy. Full of insight. They know right from wrong-And they will make mistakes...They also watch me like a hawk...My actions effect them more than anyone else's.
Each of my Children are 'GOOD ENOUGH', now I just need to make sure that they know this-While still teaching them and raising them...Always being honest with them.
I am so proud of Champion, and I wouldn't change him for the world. He is the HAPPIEST little boy. I couldn't be prouder-I just have to get him to quit pulling his pants down to pee in public places...(During the 4th of July parade, he couldn't hold it so he turned around, pulled his britches down and let it all go! We giggled and cringed at the same time...)
**When he has got to go, he has got to go!**
Preschool is not for us! :O)
If you are proud of your children, tell them-EVERY TIME! Don't worry about others thinking your being overly proud, and that maybe you hold your kids on a higher pedestal than all the other kids...When in reality-We all should be! Our children are products of us-Good and Bad...Bring out the good, and don't focus so much on the Bad! Remembering to never compare your children to others.
Confidence is something that we have to work on 'Ourselves'. We can't lean on everyone to build us up. BUT...We sure do have a huge hand in helping others feel good about themselves. We can help bring out the best things in our children and other people, just by making them feel like they are
'Good Enough!'
My children do not have to get straight A's, nor do they have to be popular in school, Make all the touchdowns or homeruns...Nor do they have to be the best scripture reading, perfectly little angels, who never go to Starbucks...They don't have to serve missions or go to college, nor do they have to be married in the Temple for me to be proud of them....Loving someone is learning to except them for who they are.
I want my children to have a mind of their own, making their own decisions...Gaining thier own way in this life. I pray that they will always be kind and good to others. NEVER EVER feeling so much pressure to be everything that people see as perfect, that they can not find happiness in this life.
**Please note-That I do want my children to give everything they have into everything they do. I do expect them to be hard workers with the best heart!**
I support my children-I may not always agree with their decisions, but...I can promise you this...I want them to feel that they are 'Good Enough' and that I will love them no matter what!
I am so thankful for our Heavenly Father who helps me each day, to try to become a better mother-and wife...Never perfect *There is no such thing*
Pray always...Be Thankful...Serve The Lord...Serve your Family!! Serve others...And give a compliment to someone random person today...They may not think that they are good enough-Give them a glimpse that just maybe they are.
Smiling :O)
**School starts tomorrow...I am not smiling about that!**
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